Behind the cloak

Hiding below the surface of reality,
Have found refugee in the hands of fantasy,
Illusion is what lies ahead,
Stimulating my crazy head,

The clock tic tacs as the time passes away,
All I can think is you in my memory,
In my soul you’ve been engraved, deep within
And keep you there, odd things between

Can’t seem to touch with my grasp,
I can’t longer hold on with my clasp,
It is strange you’re not so far,
It is shows that you really are

Cool exterior is my false facade,
Like a pompous admiration is what I hide,
Can’t stop to think of you everyday,
It turns out I am already in disarray,

Your voice is like a gentle whisper,
Your thoughts always made me wonder,
Your smile is the curable answer,
To all these things that makes me whimper,

I am embrace with invisibility,
I have this unnoticed agility,
Invaded by hollowness,
Torn asunder thoughts, its craziness

Sometimes I think your mirage, an illusion,
Ironically you have a different devotion,
Don’t know when to get it all out in these walls,
Confuse and sandwich still between truth and false.

Adapted from fantome's blog.

Love

Love,
You're the sun that warms my face
You're the winds that embrace
You're the calmness the ocean sound brings
You're the beauty of flowers in the spring
Love,
You've given me hope when I didn't have any
You've given me forgiveness that I didn't deserve
You've given me more than I could ever ask for
You've even given me love when I didn't love you in return
Love,
You are my very best friend,
You are my soul mate to the end
You are the love of my heart
I know we will never part.
Love,
So if you ever need me
Know that I'll be there
I want to love you the way you have loved me
I want you to know how much I care
Love,
No matter where I go or what I do
I'll show you how much I love you

Adapted from Susan Littleton's What You Are To Me

Anticipation

It's been three months now since I started this job. Along the way I have been side-tracked. Trying hard to get my dream job too fast too early. Next week will be testament to whatever hard work that I've put in for this company. Hopefully it'll all go successfully and not crash land like Apollo 13. Waiting for your the fruits of your labour and at least getting some recognition for it is like waiting for the shit to come out during constipation (sorry for the graphical insight) . You don't whats gonna happen, when it's gonna happen and most probably when yu're least prepared for it. Heehehheheh... Well, I know watcha thinking now..' That's life my friend, you gotta take it as it comes'. Well, let me tell yu this 'It's not as easy as it sounds'.
However, after coming this far, I think I'm finally finding my rudder ( it's the thing that steers the aeroplane, stupid ). And yes, 'I believe I can fly' ( sounds like the soapy R. Kelly shit rite?? ) Well, seriously.. If you wait long enough, work hard and persevere; you will see your opportunity to shine.. Damn, I'm getting too philosophical for my own liking.

Solitude..Hahaha...(or so you think)

Solitude,
A day to contemplate,
Also a day to celebrate,
The life of me.

Boredom,
On this day of solitude,
I find no epiphanies,
No reasons to celebrate,
Still the same ole scenarios,
The life of me.

Goals,
Dreams that reach the skies,
Success comes when dreams materialize,
So, i gotta chase my dreams,
And sink my teeth into,
The life of me,

Zest,
Burning desire to make it happen,
Is it still gonna happen?
Nobody knows until I burst open,
The life of me,

Life,
Box full of hard choices,
Nobody knows the right ones,
Until you've picked some wrong ones.
In the life of you.

Work

When I was in university, I never needed to feel intimidated by the thought of anything. But now every morning I'm intimidated by the idea of going to work. To subject myself to mindless worker beelike routine that will ultimately condition myself to be a boring zombie. I think working life is what actually tranforms us to become a full blown boring adult. Absolutely boring... It depresses me to think that we finished preschool, eleven years of school, about 3 years of uni and finally get ourselves all geared up to get saddled on a life full of boring routine mindless uninspiring .......... work. Oh but, there's the good part or so we think.. the end of the month lucky ang pow... hehehhehe

Letting go...

I believe even lovers are easy to let go off. To a certain extent, you can even let go of family. How about friends? Friends that have been with you for three years. Friends that you have so many memories and photos with. Friends that promised that they will never leave you or vice versa.
How do you let go of them? How do you see them change to someone else that don't even relate to you no more. Do you just have to suck it in and say this are the realities of life or do we have to try and win them back. It's sad... The famous phrase 'no man is an island' seems to rather sink in here. I mean like who wants to be without friends. Friends who wanna fight with you, fight for you, cry with you, listen to you, behave like you, die for you.... I believe these are the things that I'm still struggling to let go off when I have too... Pity they never understood that nobody lives to the age of 80 without no friends. When I say friends; I mean true friends and not fair weathered ones. I find that as we grow older, the harder it is to distinguish between both and find true ones. Sighhh..

Loneliness

Life is somewhat an unbalanced line between fate and free will. While some others choose to live, others choose to die. I had a good friend.. His name was Jegan. Have been friends with him since I was in Form Four. He just passed away this year. Apparently he took his own life.
He was a normal person just like you and me, graduated, worked and had a good position in a company and most importantly was the best friend anyone could ever have. He would give you the most rational practical solutions to whatever problems I had from girl problems to getting rid of stress.
It is ridiculous to think that he was found with a rare sort of psychosis last year that manifested fully early this year and took his life.
I thought maybe I would have my best friend chillin with me once I get back home after finishing my final year in uni but fate had it otherwise. All those times I didn't call him, took him for granted, fills me with absolute regret. You keep on thinking what if; only to be slapped across the face with the harsh cruel reality, he's gone.... and you ain't never gonna see him again.

Life is about rising from the ashes and being triumphant like the phoenix.